Well, somehow the tables were turned. It was after the (ex) hubby decided to search for a more fulfilling life -- one with a much younger woman. I decided I would fulfill my life as well and enrolled in college.It was during my son’s senior year in high school. I started off with a bang – got straight As the first semester and dear son was horrified. “Geez, mom, why’d you do that? Are you trying to embarrass me?” I told a couple of his teachers who also were my friends, that son and I were studying together – paybacks are hell!
Darling son was never known for his academic achievements; his claim to fame was his famous mooning episode from the back window of the school bus.
Daughter dear, a few years older than her little brother, was quite proud of my efforts until one fateful night. Because I was now a “college person” I wanted to try out my new single, college wings and have some fun on the town.
Daughter phones mom a little after midnight and doesn’t get an answer. Guess who’s in trouble now? I didn’t know I had a curfew. “Mom, says she, “Act your age; you’re not a kid, so don’t act like one!”
Hey, I was just out with some of the other kids from school. Unfortunately, some of these “kids” had gone to high school with my kids. My son informed me that dancing the night away with his friends was not the way a grown woman should act, especially his own mother. “But son,” I explained with a slight whine in my voice, “they asked me to go and I couldn’t say no”.
For some reason, his friends and a few of my daughter’s, thought it was cool to have “mom” (not theirs of course) hanging out with them!
In my quest to find a fun activity at college, and one that fit in with my age, I tried the college pool. I used to be a pretty good swimmer in high school; I even won a few awards, but when I walked in to the pool area the only person close to my age was the coach.
So, there I am, in the pool with gorgeous hunks of male college muscle and of course thin, young, thin, tanned, young, thin coeds. Did I mention they were young and thin? Yes there I am, - ALL of me, my shriveled cellulite, bleached stretch marks and worn wrinkles – exposed for all the world to see. Even though I stayed under water for as long as I could, I still had to come up for air sometime!
While all that exercise was great, all the running, swimming, tennis and racquet ball made this slightly older body feel and look pretty good, what about the other exercise? The one all my new friends do on a one-on-one basis? Yes, I’m talking about the great sport of dating!
I began to seriously enter the dating scene and what did I get? A lecture from darling daughter about safe sex. Didn’t we have this conversation several years ago? I clearly remember discussing the birds and bees with her. Yes she agreed, we did talk about birds and bees – blue birds, red birds and the stork. Come to think of it, I may have left something out of that particular discussion.
My son was in shock. Dating? Not his mother, he proclaimed. That stuff is for young people, not someone “your age”.
What can I say, I was in college and wasn’t I supposed to act like a college kid? I enjoyed going to parties, complaining about too much homework, watching TV when I should be studying and I even liked the exercise.
So how come I kept hearing “When are you going to grow up and act your age?”
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